


The Very Secret Chat Transcript of Three Fritzian Fanboys

by Selena



Category: 18th Century CE Frederician RPF, 18th Century CE RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Multi, Seven Years' War, Steampunk, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21693469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selena/pseuds/Selena
Summary: During the Seven-Years-War, Frederick the Great's ability to take on three European superpowers and survive won him a great many fans. Three in particular found each other on the internet...
Relationships: Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great & Other(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2019





	The Very Secret Chat Transcript of Three Fritzian Fanboys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mildred_of_midgard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildred_of_midgard/gifts).



> **Author's Apology** : Unmitigated silliness ensues. There is a vague historical justification attached at the end, identifying the key players.

Chatgroup „FritzFans“ has been created.

Group moderator: FrankfurtHans

FrankfurtHans has added ViennaJoe.

FrankfurtHans has added Number1Fan.

*Private Message from FrankfurtHans to Number1Fan*: Dude, I really want to do this, but seriously, that moniker has to go.

Number1Fan has changed his name to HolsteinPete.

HolsteinPete has changed his name to (P)RussianPete.

ViennaJoe: OMG you guys, I can’t tell you how glad I am to have found you. Can’t talk Fritz to anyone at my place. They just don’t get him.

(P)RussianPete: Same here! My aunt rants about him all the time. And there’s this girl I’m stuck with who ACTUALLY MET HIM, can you believe that, and didn’t even get me his autograph, because that’s the kind of cow she is. Hey, are you two up for cosplay? I’m Fritz, of course.

FrankfurtHans: Maybe leave the cosplay until later. How do you guys feel about writing Fritz a letter of support? I mean, we all know he’s gonna win in the end, but he’s got to feel depressed now and then. He should know we’re rooting for him!

ViennaJoe: Um. Can I sign with an alias?

(P)RussianPete: Chicken. And you call yourself a Fritz fan! You’re not worthy!

ViennaJoe: Listen, jerk, some of us have family in the opposing armies. Just because I think Fritz is cool doesn’t mean I want them dead!

*Private Message from (P)RussianPete to FrankfurtHans* Do you think ViennaJoe could be a spy? We should kick him out!

*Private Message from ViennaJoe to FrankfurtHans* (P)RussianPete is faking it, I can tell. No one is that much over the top with the fandom. I’m thinking spy, personally. We should kick him out.

FrankfurtHans (*in the chat*): Okay, everyone, chill. I’ll write a draft for the support letter and you can still get input and sign, or not, however you want. Fandom should be fun, right? And speaking of writing: I’ve got this rl bud who asked me to beta his Fritz/Katte RPF. I’m thinking historical AU, just to be on the safe side and get it staged, so: Peter the Great or Philip of Spain for the Soldier King?

(P)RussianPete: How is this suddenly a writing community? What are you, girls? Fandom is action! If you want to get historical, at least talk about some cool stuff like whether Fritz could beat Alexander the Great or Genghis Khan! Or both at the same time!

ViennaJoe: Fritz could totally beat Alexander, man. Alexander was all flashy battles and no long term planning or stamina. Not sure about Genghis Khan, though.

FrankfurtHans: Okay, first draft of the support letter coming through. Have a look. Also, Alexander so had long term game, he just drank too much.

(P)RussianPete: Fritz could still beat him, though. Hang on, reading your letter now. WTF? It’s in German!

ViennaJoe: For reals?

FrankfurtHans: Duh. We’re all Germans, aren’t we? Including Fritz.

*Private Message from (P)RussianPete to ViennaJoe* Do you think FrankfurtHans could be a spy? I mean, everyone knows Fritz hates German! We should totally kick him out.

**The messages following this exchange were later deleted on all accounts**

* * *

FrankfurtHans: Okay, guys, now that we’ve all calmed down: let’s forget the support letter business for a while, that’s clearly just asking for fanwank. And anyway, we don’t want to come across like creepy stalkers. I’ve put together a fandom primer, though, and if you could manage some imput without using the word „spy“ even once, I’d really be grateful.

* * *

**Useful Tips For The Budding Frederick The Great Fan:**

_Which accounts to follow on social media:_

TwitterAccounts:

 **[@Sanssouci_Biche](https://royalcentral.co.uk/features/royal-dog-letters-107816/):** I know, I know, we’re not all into dog pictures, but fact is: Fritz has a thing for whippets. That’s part of his character. And some of those pics show his private rooms in the background! Plus: whoever manages that account has style. A while ago, they and [**@Folichon**](http://www.wilhelmine-von-bayreuth.info/index.php/wilhelmine-about-herself/) got into this really cute rpg that even included ic dog marriage proposal and acceptance. Sadly, **@Folichon** hasn’t been updated in a while, so no more on that front.

[ **@CharmingChamberlain**](https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernst_Ahasverus_Heinrich_von_Lehndorff): Lots of background stuff about the royal household, if you’re into that sort of thing. Fritz himself rarely shows up in the pics, but there’s quite a lot about Prince Heinrich. For those of you who are multicharacter oriented.

[ **@Gessler**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Henry_of_Prussia_\(1726%E2%80%931802\)): really good for military stuff, including maps. Something of an anti, though. They recently did a 50-Tweet thread about all they think Fritz did wrong in the first two Silesian Wars.

Facebook:

[ **@TunefulToni** :](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duchess_Maria_Antonia_of_Bavaria) has also a YouTube-Account under the same name, but here she posts extensive comments along with the vids. Great for the musical angle. If you’re interested in listening to Fritz‘ compositions and get them analyzed, that’s the account to follow. Here’s the weird thing, though: @TunefulToni is also friends with the official Habsburg account, **@Tu_Felix_Austria**! Haven’t figured that one out, yet.

Blogs:

[ **@Ferney_Philosophe** :](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voltaire) Obviously. I mean, you never know whether you get a three page diss on Fritz or some poetry on why he rocks, but still: not to be missed. If you’re multifandom, it’s also great to get excerpts of his unfished works here that aren’t Fritz related. Just be careful with your comments. He’s totally capable of siccing his followers on you if you piss him off, and then you’re in for a shitstorm.

[ **@SwissCatt**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_de_Catt): Behind a firewall, and you have to pay for access, but totally worth it. Lots of blog entries with actual Fritz conversations! This one really has the goods.

* * *

FrankfurtHans: That’s all I have for now. Comments?

ViennaJoe: Good choices, especially @TunefulToni, but I’d start with the blogs. I mean, the dog twitter accounts are more for hardcore fans, not beginners.

FrankfurtHans: Look, some people have to be eased into the fandom. Everyone likes dogs!

(P)RussianPete: @Gessler, seriously? That guy is such an asshole. Who does he think he is, second-guessing Fritz all the time? How many battles did he win, that’s what I’d like to know!

  
ViennaJoe: His maps are all accurate, though. And he wasn’t wrong that the French/Austria alliance wouldn’t have happened if Fritz hadn’t ditched the French a couple of times in the Silesian Wars.

(P)RussianPete: I still think talking to Antis is how fandoms die.

ViennaJoe: I’ve got one more rec, because Fritz as a law reformer is seriously underrepresented in this selection, imo.

FrankfurtHans: Good point, and I’m really curious now. Not the official accounts, I hope. Because they mean well, but whoever writes @Brandenburg_Actual is dull as dirt.

ViennaJoe: True that. But I do like [@RomKat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_the_Great)’s take on the reforms. Informative, and she can coin a phrase.

(P)RussianPete: And you’re a sucker if you think she does more than pose as a fan. Typical fake fangirl, that one. Ew ew ew!

ViennaJoe: If anyone is posing, it’s you. Haven’t heard you contribute one useful bit so far.

(P)RussianPete: Fuck you. I’ll just go and save Fritz‘ life, that’s what I’ll do!

*(P)RussianPete has left the group*

* * *

_Epilogue:_

*Private Chat*:

F2: Hey, how do you like my new handle?

FrankfurtHans: Nice pun, but just a bit... misleading?

F2: Hey, it's not my fault my old man called me Fritz, too. Anyway, I've gone historical AU with the Fritz/Katte RPF like you suggested. P2 not P1, though. Better costumes in Spain. Also, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

FrankfurtHans: Or the het angle. I'm supportive, mind! Elisabeth is one of your best FOCs yet! But if you really want to join my chat group, you've got to play that down. They're a bit paranoid about girls there. Mention you're a cadet in a military school, though, they're really into uniforms.

F2: Man, I hate that school! I'm so outta there as soon as I can. Forget about the chat group, I've so had it with group stuff anyway. So, spill. You're done with your own WIP yet? That Mephisto is the coolest demon who ever cooled, I swear!

FrankfurtHans: Ha. Ha. With the moderating them and beta-reading you? Fat chance. Fandom is eating my life. Maybe I should take a break. Go to Italy. #Gafiate

**Author's Note:**

> According to his memoirs, _Dichtung und Wahrheit_ , by the end of the Seven-Years-War young Goethe like many of his contemporaries was indeed a devout Fritz fan. (Not one of Prussia, as he adds, "for what was Prussia to us? We were Fritzians.") (He would much later have the honor of being singled out by name in Old Frederick's 1780 anti-German-literature pamphlet.) 
> 
> Joseph II. modelled himself on his mother's arch nemesis as a monarch. He never took his fascination with Frederick as far as Peter III of Russia, though, whose ascension to the throne late in the Seven-Years-War did arguably save Frederick from losing the war.
> 
> Friedrich Schiller, whose relationship with Goethe later was the heart of Weimar classic literature, was one of many children named after Frederick II in the later's life time. How far his play _Don Carlos_ was inspired less by the historical Spanish figure and more by the more recent Father/Son tragedy in Prussia is another arguable point, but the key character of Posa, Carlos' best friend who ends up sacrificing his life for Carlos, is nowhere to be found in either Spanish history nor the "Spanish legend", i.e. the anti-Philip II propaganda Schiller otherwise drew on for his play. It's therefore not impossible Posa owes his existence to Hans Hermann von Katte, the friend who ended up dying for the young Crown Prince Frederick.


End file.
